i have a question

So hypothetically... if you did not receive a Christmas gift, or even a card from your mother for Christmas, but knew that she purchased gifts for her friend and her friend's dog... do you think there is something wrong?

be wise, be ready.

when you least expect it, someone important (i.e. the boss) will come and check up on you just to see how everything is going. When times tend to be slow around the office, let's say work will get pushed aside because you figure you can get it done so quickly that there is no need to hurry. why not just play around on the computer, or make a couple personal phone calls, or play an on-line game, or heck update your blog page. No big deal right? The work will get done eventually...
Well... the boss could potentially come to check in on your work progress anytime he/or she wants, so why are you putting it off? So you may be a little bored, or maybe burnt out, or maybe you are just addicted to on-line gaming. Regardless you are getting rewarding monetarily for your time spent at work. So why not work really hard to get it done first thing. Better yet, get it done but strive to make it better than your boss expected. Don't you think impressing your boss is a far better use of our time than wasting it on addictinggames.com? Plus, impressing your boss makes better for you. It eventually can lead to a raise, bonuses and great recommendations within your industry.
i'm not sure why I am going off on this, but I know we all experience this at some point or another. the moment of being caught off guard. Not being fully prepared. What if you blew the opportunity of a lifetime because you weren't ready? Because you wasted 6.5 hours of the day and now when you finally read what you have to do you find out you already missed the deadline to send the portfolios in to be printed and bound. What if everything the boss needed for a major presentation the next day rested on your shoulders and because you waited until the last second, you just blew his shot on gaining a new client? It could happen. It does happen. I don't want it to happen to be. I don't like the feeling of being irresponsible or being looked down upon. I want people to look at me and have confidence in me, knowing that they can rely on me to get the job done. Don't you want to be that person too?

the lack thereof

what do you do when you have so much you want to accomplish but no motivation to do it? do you ever have that feeling? i have so much i want to do and more that i actually need to do, but i can't bring myself to do any of it because i've lost my motivation to trudge forward. where oh where can i find it? any suggestions? this lack of motivation to accomplish all the things that are musts and even the things that are wants, is becoming depressing.

germ-phobia.

ok, so i have issues with sharing drinks and utensils and such with people. now imagine going out to get some coffee with a bunch of people and having someone you hardly know sticking their mouth on your straw without asking. gross, right? And it happened!!! so my coffee drink tasted kinda gross and i told my really good friend and she tasted it, which i was kinda grossed out by and she apologized she always forgets that I don't like sharing stuff. But we're good friends so I can put it in the past, and I was thinking maybe i'll get a new straw. But I also kinda didn't mind as much because I needed someone to agree with me and say, yes this drink was made weird. well then this guy who i sorta know, but not really well, heard me talking with my friend about my drink situation, was like, oh let me see and then he put his mouth on my straw and tried it! What the heck?? Well, I ended up throwing the drink away and getting a new one.

maybe I should take a self-defense class...

Ok, so today I went to the post office and stood in line. But then I realized shoot! I need to fill out a form. So I went to the little form stand, filled out the forms and got back in line. There were two people in front of me, so it wasn't like I was going to have to wait a long time or anything. However, I didn't get a lot of sleep and I didn't have a lot to eat so I felt a little sick. So... I was resting my head and arms on the package and then let out a big sigh. Well I guess I looked really bored or something because the guy behind me asks "You've been waiting long?" "No, just a couple of minutes." Then I turn back around and mind my own business. Then I hear "Yeah, I don't like waiting in lines, I avoid it whenever possible." Hmm... ok. You've only been here for less than a minute, but that's cool. But maybe he was just trying to say something to make me feel better because obviously I looked bored, so I replied "It's not too bad, I'm just not feeling well, so it's kind of a drag." Then I attempt to smile and turn back around. Less than 20 seconds later I hear "So, you from back east?" What does that even mean? Actually that reminds me of the time that some high schooler tried to pick-up my friend and I by driving up next to our car, signalling us to roll down the window and then ask if we were from Oregon. Then he asks what we are doing and my friend proceeds to shut him down by saying "Nothing that includes you." Anyways I can't help but tell the truth, "No." "Oh so, you're from here." "Yep." and then what do I do? I have to open my mouth trying to be nice and say "I get that a lot, people think I'm from the East Coast, like Connecticut." Then he says "yeah you kinda seem a little mid-western". Oh ok. Pathetic smile and turn back around. I hear that voice again "I'm from Ohio". Nicole, just end the conversation. All you have to say is "That's nice." Do I? No. I blurt out, "Oh my mom was born in Ohio." Then I hear "What part?" answer spews from my lips "Warren." "Oh ok."

Finally!! It's my turn at the window. And the whole time I'm there I can't help but think I was very curt, maybe I was too rude to that guy. Because now I hear him striking up conversation with other people. What would Jesus have done Nicole? He would have been nice! It's just that guy gave me the creepster vibe. He seemed to be around 40 or so, balding, short, glasses, Caucasian... I feel like this is a police line-up. Anyways, so as I am about to leave I see him taping up a package at that form counter, so I have one more chance to be nice "Have a nice day" I say to him. "Oh, you too." I reach the door and I hear "Um..." Did I hear that right? No... keep walking. Just keep walking. Alright, just alking outside, down the steps. "Hey my name is Paul." oh man. Turn around "Oh, ok." And it could have ended there if I had just said something like nice to meet you, bye. But then he says "What's your name?" Lie Nicole, make-up something. "Nicole". No!!!! i felt like hitting myself on the head. "Do you want to get coffee sometime?" Whoa..... i felt like I just slipped on a banana peel and had the wind knocked out of me, weird. "No, thanks". Wave. Walk away. What the heck? What is the deal? I just, uh, I am seriously speechless. Wait, question, this is not even a joke...why on this beautiful earth do pedafiles/creepy guys hit on me/take interest in me. This is gross, but kinda funny/but not really, but maybe I should take a self-defense class just in case.

new title

so i went to the hospital and had to check in at the registration desk. and the lady was asking me a bunch of questions for the medical papers. when it came to "occupation" i suddenly became depressed with having to say "yeah I'm unemployed." What was worse was when she didn't believe me and she said but you're a student though right? And I said No, I'm unemployed. And she's like a student though. And I'm thinking admitting that I am jobless has already deflated my self-esteem, how many more times do I have to say this to you?? And when acquantences ask me "what's up" and "where are you working now that you've graduated college?", I still have a really hard time saying "yeah about that, I'm unemployed." It just sounds so tacky. These people have no idea how hard I have been working at finding a job, or how hard I worked during school. So when I say I am unemployed I just feel like I am a major let down to society. So..... I have come up with a new title to say when people ask what I am up to/where I am working. Well now I say, "oh actually I freelance." And I say it with a plastered smile. And after smiling for about 30 seconds pretty much everyone understands that I have come up with a wicked awesome new title for the life of the unemployed. Way less embarassing too. It's also less depressing because you don't have to be constantly reminded that you don't have stable employment. Instead you just think of yourself as constantly on the search, Its definitely a more positive job title.

details

there are some things you are just better off not knowing. even when you have an inclination... sometimes sparing the details is awesome.

True Value

despite all the crazy things that have happened, I honestly have nothing to complain about. God is so Good.

"True value is not measured by what you own but by who loves you." -anonymous

the procrastination feeling

the feeling of procrastination. i tell myself i will not procrastinate and it doesn't work, i do it anyways. and when crunch time rolls around i find myself stressing out and freaking out. it's irritating because things begin to go crazy and not work out as smoothly as they should. they end up working out, just not as great as they could if i had done it weeks in advance. you know the feeling. bleh. well check this out:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2034405737

3AM traffic

alright, question... who likes traffic? Yeah and who likes it in the middle of the night? I know it is amazing. So picture this your flying on the freeway in the middle of the night because that's what you do, you fly because most people are sleeping at that time and then all of a sudden you see cones... bright orange cones in the lane to your left. So you move over a lane, no big deal. A minute later your five lane freeway is now reduced to four, and then three and then excuse me?!?! Brake lights? A pile of cars at a standstill in the middle of the night on the free way? And then you a sign flashing "freeway closed ahead." Oh joy. So now you find out that what you thought would be a glorious ride home to your comfy bed will be an extended stay on the freeway. Who knows when you will get to see that goose down pillow... because it will much longer than you anticipated.

So this freeway closure turns into an hour long nightmare because everyone is trying to merge into one lane. Those from your left and those who are just coming onto the freeway who didn't know the freeway would be closing in 3 exits. Ok stop. Who are the geniuses behind this freeway closure? Seriously. You are going to close a freeway and not tell anyone about this? Proceed to clog traffic late at night when people are already delirious--at their prime for causing vehicular accidents. I need to send someone some cookies right now because they deserve recognition for their ingenuity and strategic planning. Gotta love it.

Alright so anyways we're all going one mile an hour, right? And half of the people are idiots (well maybe smart depending on if they know where they are going) and get off before the freeway ends because they are tired of sitting in a standstill for 45 minutes. So they just get off at the 1st exit they can, they don't want to wait until the freeway actually closes. The problem with this is that everyone is tired of waiting so some people think they have the right to drive as fast as they can up the shoulder of the freeway and then squeeze into an open space in front of someone on the exit so they can make the light off the exit... as if they have been on the freeway longer than anyone else. Really? Have you? Because as far as I can tell, you may have just gotten on at the previous on ramp and you're just really selfish and can't stick it out like the rest of us. And I wish a cop to pull you over right now. Or I wish for my car to take on a life of it's own and to jump out into the shoulder and to block annoying people from trying to drive up the shoulder.

To be fair maybe they're rushing up the shoulder because of an unfortunate situation like having to pee really bad. Which I can understand. But, unfortunately I don't care because that's your fault for drinking so much in the first place. You need to wait like the rest of us. However, I do have some advice for you... 1) hold it 2) go back in time and order a side of fries instead of a soda or 3) pee in the cup that held the soda you just finished. you have options... all of which don't put others lives in danger. be smart.

ok so anyways i wait until the last possible exit i can to get off and what do i find? They close 4 lanes of the freeway for 4 miles for what? I couldn't even tell you. There were like 3 guys pretending to dig. Maybe they had a shovel. I saw some cars with fancy orange lights but they were off to the shoulder and I think they had a fog machine to appear like something was going on. This freeway has been "under construction" for like 10 years why do you need to close it every night? You're not even doing anything. And if you are, is it really necessary to cone of 4 lanes for four miles with nothing going on? It is excessive and it only makes more traffic at 2AM which actually is bad because people are sleepy and if people are on the road even longer while groggy there can be even more accidents. So just do the work during the day after 10AM. That makes more sense. I would rather have people alert and irritated and late for work then crashing because they are really tired for being out too late because they were stuck on the freeway for over an hour in the middle of the night.

Just something to think about.

my irritating quality for today: I whine a lot.
my redeeming quality for today: I like to smile.

Give it up!

Working in the corporate world I know that this experience I am about to talk about will only relate to a couple people. However the whole "telemarketing" phenomena in general is something everyone can relate too despite this particular experience. So I need to pose a question. Where do telemarketers come from? And more importantly, where do they nest? When the business owner wants to start his little telemarketing branch and he has to lease some office space what does he put on the lease form, does he have to say space is being used for telemarketing? Because if I was the property owner I would deny that request and say we don't want your business. I mean I'm really just helping the world.

Well ok so at my job we keep getting these same people calling saying "Hi my name is Tom/Sally/Martha/etc and I am calling from the supply department in regards to your copy machine. In order to Service your copier we just need to get the serial numbers of your copy machine, could you please give me the serial number please?"

First of all, what is wrong with this picture? What is a supply department? This office I work in is one floor and I know everyone. And also if someone was servicing my copier why would they call the operator, why wouldn't they call the maintenance department or the office manager? I mean come on. And so I say, "I'm sorry what company did you say you were with? And they would say something like "Copy Supply" - totally bogus. And then they proceed to explain that they have lost all of our copier information and if I provide them with the serial number to our copier it will update in their system. I'm not an idiot Copy Supply. So ok "what copier are you talking about?" Oh get this... "the one closest to you." Yeah I don't think I can give you that information over the phone. Good bye.

Then we get another call from someone from this company who is even more clever. And he proceeds to make up a whole entire story about how we ordered two toners and how we don't have them because their was a malfunction in the database but he is going to make sure we'll get them as soon as possible-BUT I need to provide him with our copier's serial numbers so he can retrieve the data or something. And what company are you with? Same copy supply mumbo jumbo. Uh huh. And we have a lot of copiers here so which one do you need? The canon. Oh we don't have a canon. Really? What do you have. Dangit. I am such an idiot. Falling for his trickery. And that's about the time I hang up. What I should have done was give him a fake serial number, like 123ABC or sing him he ABC's. What I really want to know is what on God's beautiful green Earth do they need these copy machine serial number's for?

Seriously are they using them to hack into a huge copy machine worldwise database that can take over the world? I doubt it. What can someone do with a serial number for a copy machine? Do they sell them online? Do they affix them to stolen copy machines? I mean c'mon really why do they need this information? And how does one get this job of retrieving serial numbers from private companies? Is it listed on Craigslist? Or on yahoojobs? What would the job ad say? Hacker/Telemarketer wanted!

Just give it up! You are annoying and everyday I think of ways to play games with your mind. I'm sorry but I can't help it. If you weren't so sneaky maybe I wouldn't try and retaliate. Maybe you should look for another job.

So now you know I plot revenge on telemarketers. But I know I am not the only one, you should google Thomas Mabe. (I think that's his name)

Today's irritating quality: I slur my words and cannot form complete sentences when I am tired.

Today's redeeming quality: I don't talk like a sailor.

for st. peters sake

you when your tired a lot of things can easily get under your skin. such as why won't this html work? I wanted a pretty font for my title at the top of this blog and would it work? No. But that's just as well because I am not a techie or computer junkie so sitting in front of a computer reading computer language is annoying and what's even more annoying is trying to figure out why the computer will not input the font I want and display it when i push "preview". How many of us experience things like that? Like when we're registering for a class or typing out a really long e-mail and right when we hit "send" KABLAAM that cute little time bottle or spinning beach ball pops up and then it says "cannot connect to the server" and then you hit the back button and then all your data is lost. And then it just about feels like the end of the world.

Speaking of registering for classes, 7:30 in the a.m. I was snug in my bed just chilling. Probably dreaming of a vacation or something and what happens? My phone rings and not my cell phone but my home phone. Yeah, ANNOYING because it's right by my head so I can't ignore it and so I have to pick it up. So it's my friend/neighbor and she asks if i'm awake, well now I am. Does she apologize for waking me up? NO! The disingenuous-ness of it all. I couldn't believe it. anyway she wanted to use my computer/internet to register for classes so of course being the nice person I am, I conceded. But when she came over like 30 seconds later she didn't know how to use the computer. Being tired, I was irritated. And normally I would help but instead I just pretended to sleep on the couch. Sorry.

So being woken up really early to use your things is irritating but not as irritating as being hovered over at a restaurant by your server. So you go out to eat to relax and enjoy a nice meal but when you feel your server is sucking up to you for who knows what reason- it really puts you off. I can forgive the fact the server sorta hit me in the head with the tray, ok stuff happens but when I go to look for her to try and coordinate a little birthday song for my friend, you shouldn't hide behind the wall and have your friend tell me you busy when I can see you and then when you come out singing happy birthday don't sing to the wrong person (i.e. me) after I described my friend to you in detail and after you carded me for a drink at the table- so clearly you knew it was not my birthday. I can understand after all that being a tad embarrassed, thatmakes complete sense, but it also mak sense that we're not going to have a perfect 10 dining experience either. And for St. Peter's Sake don't ruin our last morsal of potentially good quality time together by hovering over us so we'll give you the check. 1 - it's considered rude 2 - it's empty and there is no line for a table and 3) you don't close for like 3 more hours. And then now that we're feeling extremely awkward we have no choice but to leave. Well I'm just a tad irritated that I was bumped around, sucked up to while you asked me like 10 times how I was doing and then finally pushed out really fast. I think you need some better training. And maybe I should have had japanese food.

Speaking of training, I hesitate to go into this right now, but have you seen some of the drivers out there on the road lately? I mean seriously, who taught you how to drive? Have you taken a class? Most drivers appear to be driving with their eyes closed. Speed limit is 45 and they are driving 35 and in the middle of two lanes or they are driving 90 in and out of cars. Which I admire because I wish I was that adventurous to try but at the same time i want to wish some sort of illness on them. It's scary driving beside them because you never know when they will fly out in front of you or just slam on their brakes for no apparent reason and then they'll fly over into another lane and let you ram into the stalled car they just avoided. Actually what ticks me off the most is not using a signal. Why are they on your car if you are not going to use them? Let me know you're coming over. I can't read your mind buddy, put your arrow on and I will do my best to let you in. It's like people think signaling is the spawn of satan so they instead just decide to wait until the last possible moment to jump in front of you and scare you into a heart palpitation. I love that. And what I love more is brake lights that don't work. That is seriously my favorite thing ever.

I know drivers don't just hang around on the backs of their cars but I think they should more often because then they will understand why people ride so close to them in traffic. I have come so close to hitting people in traffic because their brake lights didn't work and even though I left enough room and I slowed down when they did I had no idea they were actually stopping, I just thought there foot must have been off of the gas. And if I did hit them it wouldn't solve the problem, their brake lights would still be out and my car would be out of commission.

Oh but what I think is so cool while driving is smoking. I'm really just a big fan of smoking anyways so when I see a hand with a lit cigarette dangling outside of a rolled down window it's just awesome because now the the chemicals that I never wanted to smell in the first place are drifting into my vents and I have to unwillingly smell them. Isn't that the best, who here agrees? Let's take a poll, if you like to unwillingly smell cigarette smoke while driving raise your hand... I thought so. So this is what I think, again this is my opinion... (but I think it's brilliant mostly because I'm biased) I think all of the driving smokers need to roll up their windows and smoke inside their own car. It's one thing not to care about burning up their own lungs, but it is very inconsiderate to not thing about the healthy of others. So next time you light up and you have the health of the world in your hand - I beg you to please be considerate and not subject the world to the stench. Of course the smoker may argue that they don't enjoy the lingering aroma the tobacco leaves over everything... well I say...you should quit because cigarettes smell and that's just a fact.

well i've ragged on a lot of people today. and i definitely have issues.
irritating quality of the day: I drive way too close to people (ask my dad).
redeeming quality of the day: when I was in the 5th grade I was in PAL and I directed traffic at my school's parking lot, ever since then I thought it would be so neat to become a crossing guard. I like kids and I want to keep them safe.

this is only the beginning...

I really don’t think it’s very attractive to whine. but you know it happens to the best of us. And once I get going, man I probably could get an award for complaining. Because I find the craziest things to complain about -- even the simplest thing tends to really get on my nerves.

I mean for instance when you’re walking down the street and you see someone that is super irritating you find it necessary to complain to your pal beside you for the next half an hour as to why that girl really shouldn’t be wearing shorts that short or a shirt that tight out in public and be bent over the picnic bench so every guy can stare at her. Then you find it necessary to complain about why she had to be giggling insanely loud acting like she is the hottest thing alive. Right? You know it’s true. I just confirmed this with my friend, she agrees.

Or guys- you are playing in a Halo tournament all night and you were awesome enough to invite your girlfriend to it, but instead of participating she sulks in the corner the whole night. So when you finally win the tournament, does she congratulate you? No, she yells at you about how inconsiderate you were for not paying any attention to her and then gets in the car and slams the door. Irritating-- girls who don’t even try to understand their own boyfriends. And then on top of that passengers slamming your car doors. It makes you wonder...do they have any respect for your property at all? I mean come on.

And speaking on respect, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, I love that song (fyi) why do guys find it thrilling to play mind games with girls? I mean seriously. Do they have no respect for the girls? Or is it that they just don’t respect themselves? Or do they not respect their mother? --(Seems a little out in left field but I heard somewhere that when girls start getting all crazy and rebellious they don’t respect their dad, so I am just naively assuming the same goes for mothers and sons.) But really, like when a guy acts all smooth and sweet and tells a girls she beautiful but then turns right around and tells 4 other girls the same thing, what does he hope to accomplish here? Because most girls can see through that and don’t find it fun to be toyed with, so if he is hoping to tick a girl off, he won’t have a problem doing so. I am not trying to be biased here because I know girls toy with guys too which is totally annoying. Can we stop acting like preschoolers, put away the PlaySkool and act mature. If you like a guy say so, if you like a girl say so. This immaturity is ridiculous. I guess the main problem I have is with immaturity. But I’ll save that for another day.

So this whole “blog” thing was not my idea. I’m just putting that out there. Yes me actually writing it was all me, but it was at the encouragement of my friend/co-worker. To be honest this whole blogging thing is kinda lame to me. I mean the idea is great, but it means I have to write all the time and come up with a fancy layout. Ok, so I don’t have to come up with a fancy layout, but you’ll judge me if I don’t. It’s true, you are probably already judging me because I am using a pre-made layout. And if I want to compete with the pro-bloggers out there I have to learn html. And do I really want to learn codes for a complaint page. Eh... not really. But if I miraculously wake up one day with the knowledge of the code, I will totally make this page rocking. Is that a deal? I hope this whole complaint blog/rant/rave hasn’t put a bad taste in your mouth already because I can guarantee I am not a meanie. I promise I am not perfect and I honestly admit that I have irritating qualities about myself. Here, I’ll give you one so you know I am not just trying to be superficial. Ok so when I’m tired or upset or sick I sigh a lot. I do this “heh” sound and it’s pretty loud. And it’s annoying. Oh but I also have some redeeming qualities too: 1) SpongeBob SquarePants Fan 2) Love Bunnies 3) I Recycle.

I think this relationship between you and I just may work. What do you say?