Give it up!

Working in the corporate world I know that this experience I am about to talk about will only relate to a couple people. However the whole "telemarketing" phenomena in general is something everyone can relate too despite this particular experience. So I need to pose a question. Where do telemarketers come from? And more importantly, where do they nest? When the business owner wants to start his little telemarketing branch and he has to lease some office space what does he put on the lease form, does he have to say space is being used for telemarketing? Because if I was the property owner I would deny that request and say we don't want your business. I mean I'm really just helping the world.

Well ok so at my job we keep getting these same people calling saying "Hi my name is Tom/Sally/Martha/etc and I am calling from the supply department in regards to your copy machine. In order to Service your copier we just need to get the serial numbers of your copy machine, could you please give me the serial number please?"

First of all, what is wrong with this picture? What is a supply department? This office I work in is one floor and I know everyone. And also if someone was servicing my copier why would they call the operator, why wouldn't they call the maintenance department or the office manager? I mean come on. And so I say, "I'm sorry what company did you say you were with? And they would say something like "Copy Supply" - totally bogus. And then they proceed to explain that they have lost all of our copier information and if I provide them with the serial number to our copier it will update in their system. I'm not an idiot Copy Supply. So ok "what copier are you talking about?" Oh get this... "the one closest to you." Yeah I don't think I can give you that information over the phone. Good bye.

Then we get another call from someone from this company who is even more clever. And he proceeds to make up a whole entire story about how we ordered two toners and how we don't have them because their was a malfunction in the database but he is going to make sure we'll get them as soon as possible-BUT I need to provide him with our copier's serial numbers so he can retrieve the data or something. And what company are you with? Same copy supply mumbo jumbo. Uh huh. And we have a lot of copiers here so which one do you need? The canon. Oh we don't have a canon. Really? What do you have. Dangit. I am such an idiot. Falling for his trickery. And that's about the time I hang up. What I should have done was give him a fake serial number, like 123ABC or sing him he ABC's. What I really want to know is what on God's beautiful green Earth do they need these copy machine serial number's for?

Seriously are they using them to hack into a huge copy machine worldwise database that can take over the world? I doubt it. What can someone do with a serial number for a copy machine? Do they sell them online? Do they affix them to stolen copy machines? I mean c'mon really why do they need this information? And how does one get this job of retrieving serial numbers from private companies? Is it listed on Craigslist? Or on yahoojobs? What would the job ad say? Hacker/Telemarketer wanted!

Just give it up! You are annoying and everyday I think of ways to play games with your mind. I'm sorry but I can't help it. If you weren't so sneaky maybe I wouldn't try and retaliate. Maybe you should look for another job.

So now you know I plot revenge on telemarketers. But I know I am not the only one, you should google Thomas Mabe. (I think that's his name)

Today's irritating quality: I slur my words and cannot form complete sentences when I am tired.

Today's redeeming quality: I don't talk like a sailor.