maybe I should take a self-defense class...

Ok, so today I went to the post office and stood in line. But then I realized shoot! I need to fill out a form. So I went to the little form stand, filled out the forms and got back in line. There were two people in front of me, so it wasn't like I was going to have to wait a long time or anything. However, I didn't get a lot of sleep and I didn't have a lot to eat so I felt a little sick. So... I was resting my head and arms on the package and then let out a big sigh. Well I guess I looked really bored or something because the guy behind me asks "You've been waiting long?" "No, just a couple of minutes." Then I turn back around and mind my own business. Then I hear "Yeah, I don't like waiting in lines, I avoid it whenever possible." Hmm... ok. You've only been here for less than a minute, but that's cool. But maybe he was just trying to say something to make me feel better because obviously I looked bored, so I replied "It's not too bad, I'm just not feeling well, so it's kind of a drag." Then I attempt to smile and turn back around. Less than 20 seconds later I hear "So, you from back east?" What does that even mean? Actually that reminds me of the time that some high schooler tried to pick-up my friend and I by driving up next to our car, signalling us to roll down the window and then ask if we were from Oregon. Then he asks what we are doing and my friend proceeds to shut him down by saying "Nothing that includes you." Anyways I can't help but tell the truth, "No." "Oh so, you're from here." "Yep." and then what do I do? I have to open my mouth trying to be nice and say "I get that a lot, people think I'm from the East Coast, like Connecticut." Then he says "yeah you kinda seem a little mid-western". Oh ok. Pathetic smile and turn back around. I hear that voice again "I'm from Ohio". Nicole, just end the conversation. All you have to say is "That's nice." Do I? No. I blurt out, "Oh my mom was born in Ohio." Then I hear "What part?" answer spews from my lips "Warren." "Oh ok."

Finally!! It's my turn at the window. And the whole time I'm there I can't help but think I was very curt, maybe I was too rude to that guy. Because now I hear him striking up conversation with other people. What would Jesus have done Nicole? He would have been nice! It's just that guy gave me the creepster vibe. He seemed to be around 40 or so, balding, short, glasses, Caucasian... I feel like this is a police line-up. Anyways, so as I am about to leave I see him taping up a package at that form counter, so I have one more chance to be nice "Have a nice day" I say to him. "Oh, you too." I reach the door and I hear "Um..." Did I hear that right? No... keep walking. Just keep walking. Alright, just alking outside, down the steps. "Hey my name is Paul." oh man. Turn around "Oh, ok." And it could have ended there if I had just said something like nice to meet you, bye. But then he says "What's your name?" Lie Nicole, make-up something. "Nicole". No!!!! i felt like hitting myself on the head. "Do you want to get coffee sometime?" Whoa..... i felt like I just slipped on a banana peel and had the wind knocked out of me, weird. "No, thanks". Wave. Walk away. What the heck? What is the deal? I just, uh, I am seriously speechless. Wait, question, this is not even a joke...why on this beautiful earth do pedafiles/creepy guys hit on me/take interest in me. This is gross, but kinda funny/but not really, but maybe I should take a self-defense class just in case.

new title

so i went to the hospital and had to check in at the registration desk. and the lady was asking me a bunch of questions for the medical papers. when it came to "occupation" i suddenly became depressed with having to say "yeah I'm unemployed." What was worse was when she didn't believe me and she said but you're a student though right? And I said No, I'm unemployed. And she's like a student though. And I'm thinking admitting that I am jobless has already deflated my self-esteem, how many more times do I have to say this to you?? And when acquantences ask me "what's up" and "where are you working now that you've graduated college?", I still have a really hard time saying "yeah about that, I'm unemployed." It just sounds so tacky. These people have no idea how hard I have been working at finding a job, or how hard I worked during school. So when I say I am unemployed I just feel like I am a major let down to society. So..... I have come up with a new title to say when people ask what I am up to/where I am working. Well now I say, "oh actually I freelance." And I say it with a plastered smile. And after smiling for about 30 seconds pretty much everyone understands that I have come up with a wicked awesome new title for the life of the unemployed. Way less embarassing too. It's also less depressing because you don't have to be constantly reminded that you don't have stable employment. Instead you just think of yourself as constantly on the search, Its definitely a more positive job title.