Amalgamate

that is the best word ever. p.s. in case you don't know what that means let me give you the definition: verb- combine or unite to form one organization or structure. ORIGIN- early 17th century: from medieval Latin, from the verb amalgamare. Ok, so now that you know what the word means... this is why I am using it: um, it's awesome. And, I am going to be writing about numerous topics that are uniting together in one post. Yes, it's an amalgamation. MMMhmmm.

Alright, so first off, health insurance is lame. I am actually over it. but I just thought I would throw it out there. So I qualify for what's called COBRA, which is awesome. However, it's $475 a month, which is not so awesome. So I thought, what the heck I will apply for an individual plan through Blue Cross to try and save the money that I don't have, right? Well I was denied because of some pre-existing conditions I have. Well I talked to my sales agent previously and said look, I have this pre-existing thing, and do you really think I have a shot at get accepted because if I don't I don't want to waste time here and apply. he said yes you do, the premiums will most likely just be a little bit more expensive. LIAR!!! I was rejected. So at first, I was so distraught. Then I was angry at him for lying. Then I realized ok, well there are public options, through the county and through the State. But, they are really bad. I mean, if you don't have anything, it's better to have them. But the doctor's I have are great and I don't want to have to switch doctor's who don't know my health history and I have tot start everything all over with. So now I am trying to figure out what to do. it's really frustrating and I know there are tons of other people in this same situation. So I have 22.5 days left to figure it out. Wish me luck!

New Topic:
Well, this really great opportunity came up to go to Germany. it would be on a Missions trip with Church and the purpose of the trip is entirely as a service opportunity for a Missionary couple we support in Germany. They currently run an organization where tons of short-term groups come to stay with them throughout the year as well they are a central hub for other missionaries who come and go. And they don't have a permanent office or residence halls to house the short term groups. So recently they acquired a 120-year-old barn that they are converting into an office building and lofts. Most of the trip will be to help with dry-wall installation and painting. As well just encouraging our missionary family (who this will be the first time anyone from our church has been to visit them in their location). We also will have a day of solitude/hiking in the Swiss-Alps and we may even get the opportunity to be in Rome during the Vatican's 2000th birthday celebration of Paul.

I've been thinking a lot about this and it seemed like a really great trip, one of service and encouragement. I've never been out of North America and lately I've really started to understand that there is more to this life than just me; that I am here for a purpose and what do I do all day? I go to work and I go home. Shouldn't I be doing more for my creator? Well the thing that had been weighing on my mind about this trip was the cost and I felt really awkward about asking people for support money. And trying to find $3,000 from a pretty non-existent travel budget is not going to happen, especially when I don't have money for health insurance. but then it occurred to me, and I am just spilling my guts out loud here for a second... So If this life is not about me, and I am just a tool in God's hand, this trip to Germany is not about me; it's not for me. This trip is about serving God and giving glory to Him. If it's His will that I should be used for His kingdom over there and the gifts that He has given me will be best used over there as well, why should I let money stop that? And how foolish am I to take the opportunity away for someone who is blessed by giving financially for God's kingdom, by not presenting this opportunity to them? Obviously if I know someone would feel awkward about it, then I wouldn't ask them to give, but the way I see it now is that we all become a team together, serving God. Those who can use their financial gifts, those who are in prayer and those who perform the manual service, we are all in that service together. I don't know how I could have been so blind before. I feel so amazed what God can teach me when I open my heart. However, I still don't know if I should be going on this trip or not because it is a big commitment of time and it came about very last minute. So even though it's possible to get in the application in, the finances I would lose for the two weeks on the trip are still something I need to take into consideration. But I still feel like a hypocrite sometimes. I ask for opportunities to serve, and then opportunities come and I feel like I am holding out. I just don't know the differences between open doors or advertisements meant for someone else. I guess I won't know until I inquire further. but if anyone has some sort of sign.... that would be most helpful right about now!